week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
