it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
