Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
