Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
