Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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