i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
