I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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