Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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