I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
