Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
tell me about the fingering
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
