Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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