you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
