a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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