I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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