carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
