it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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