Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
