sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
