Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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