I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Alive.
So much puke
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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