so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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