Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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