well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
