I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
