id be glad to
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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