Sponge bath it is.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
