Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize
