of course. lets lasso hookers.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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