I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
