A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize