They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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