she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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