How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
