It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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