You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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