Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize