i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
