i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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