i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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