It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
