this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
