PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
