Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
