This girl is more easily done than said...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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