Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
