Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
