the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
