woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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