I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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