this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
