Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
a search helicopter?!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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