Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
