If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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