so explain again why im purple
no
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
