im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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