Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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