I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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