When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You are a genius and a whore.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
