google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
