she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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