god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
